I have a confession to make! Last year I wrote a poem, a really, really bad
poem. Ok, I can’t take all of the credit for this extremely bad piece of prose,
as a friend from Starbucks co-wrote the poem with me. I’ll share this horrendous
example of putrid writing with you at the end of this blog.
But I’m extremely proud of this bad work of art, as it was
intended to be terrible, and it was written to prove a point. The point being
that the Poetry Institute of Canada will likely print every piece of bad prose that is
sent to them.
I was introduced to the Institute through my elderly father,
who had submitted several pieces of work to them for consideration in their
2013 and 2014 Poetry and Short Story contests.
These contests are run on an annual basis and prizes are actually
given to the winners. Now how much of an honor is it when they award multiple
prizes at every level except for the grand prize?
This year there were 5 - 2nd place prizes, 10- 3rd
place prizes, and 20 - 4th place prizes.
Are there some good examples of writing submitted, probably,
but it’s a given in the industry that the Poetry Institute is a thinly veiled Vanity
Press that prints writing of any quality - good, bad or terrible. To the best of my knowledge their
books are not sold in book stores (other than their own), on line and do not appear in library catalogues.
Draw your own conclusions! Most well known writer’s sources list the Institute as
a printer to avoid. They do produce the promised books and send them to the
gullible fools that enter the contests so, it can’t really be considered a
scam.
Well, my father wouldn’t believe that the books published by
the Institute are simply an opportunity to feed the ego of amateur writers and
that they will print virtually anything, no matter how bad it is.
Therefore my friend and I decided to test our suspicions and
produce a remarkably bad poem and submit it to the contest.
Our poem entitled-
REFLECTIONS ON REFLECTIONS was written in less than 3 minutes as we each
blurted out a random line of meaningless gibberish. We began each sentence of
prose with one of the letters forming the word reflections, purposely forgetting the final S. We created a real
stinker.
Then we submitted it for consideration. After a few months I
received a letter from the Institute informing me that the poem had been chosen
as part of the top flight of entries to be considered for one of the prizes.
Then comes the part that confirms this is a vanity press, for the paltry sum of
X $ I could receive a copy
of their anthology entitled RIVER MAGIC. Of course I declined.
Well long story short, my father’s copy of
River Magic arrived the other day and yes, REFLECTIONS ON REFLECTIONS was
included. We didn't win a prize, but I suspect that submissions are only
considered for a prize if you decide to pony up the fee to purchase a copy of
the book.
There you have - it’s a vanity press!
Here's the poem- please hold your nose when reading.
Reflections
on Reflections
Reflections
Even when the lights are out
Fords rust in the dying light
Love has abandoned me
Even the crows have flown into the morning mist
Cascading tears streams down my cheek
Time has eroded Morrison’s name from his tombstone
I am alone, weighted heavy with draping depression
One is not the loneliest number
Never will I be with you again
Finis
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